Although a divorce marks the end of your marriage, ex-spouses usually don’t cut all ties if they have children together. In fact, solid communication and a teamwork spirit may help you co-parent more effectively.
Depending on your ability to get along with your ex, you should choose an appropriate communication method and set any necessary boundaries. Besides, working toward co-parenting tactics that promote peace between one another may help you and your children cope with the divorce easier.
Put your differences aside
Even if a divorce makes sense for your family, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to be angry or sad after the fact. You are free to feel these emotions, and you should be sure to seek help if processing them alone feels too heavy or unmanageable. However, you should refrain from lashing out at your ex in front of your children or asking them to relay messages to your ex for you. When children feel trapped between their parents’ battles, they may resort to blaming themselves.
Create a custom plan
Instead of constantly feeling like you and your ex aren’t on the same page, you should change up your communication habits. Figure out your comfortability with speaking with one another in-person or on the phone or if communicating digitally might be a better option. Then, go from there to create a plan that works for the both of you.
For example, you might like the idea of scheduling a monthly call where you go through important parenting plan details. This can include reviewing custody schedule change requests or assigning responsibility for child-related expenses. Or maybe you form a rule where you must write one another an email about concerns or updates about your children ahead of each custody exchange.
In the end, you must do what’s necessary to create safe and welcoming environments at both of your child’s homes. If you believe this will require any modifications to the custody schedule, then your family may benefit from speaking to an experienced attorney.